Its Easter.

yyaaayy.

My

My heart aches alot lately. Hows your doing? Good? Fuck you.


Someone save me from this.


I just want to shut down and not care anymore.


Everyone thinks this or that about me.

The most honest thing someones told me about myself, that I never realized...

Was 2 years ago. My mom said it when she was hammered at a summer party.


Her exact words were " Jordyn has a wall up, But deep down. Her heart is huge. And she is the most caring person you'll ever meet. You just have to be one of the lucky ones who gets to see over that wall. But when you do, its so..." and she trailed off towards George.


Can you tell how hammered she was?

Drunk words, speak a sober mind.

Everywhere I turn, its turns horrible for me. I need that to change.

beer and a friend

Lately, I've just been feeling like I want to just bang my head against a wall.. Or slam my hand in a door so I stop thinking about everything going on around me. I worry too much, I over think way too much. And honestly. I just want a fucking beer lately. I really just want to get a fucking 30 pack and just have it on hand for days like this. I wish I had a friend I could just call up and tell them about my shitty day and they listen and when its time for them to give me advice. Just be like "im bringing you a beer" and actually do it. Im not saying I'm gonna drink when I have problems. It would just be nice to have a beer or something every now and then. Me and Brandon had a bad day yesterday. But, everything was fixed by midnight. Then, today we were planning to go see a movie to get out of the house on a rainy day. Then, his friends wanted him to go to dinner, so we went. WORST FUCKING IDEA EVER. I literally, literally, so severely refraining myself from not taking my plate and slamming against this bitches fucking head. We had a surprise guest come to dinner with us! A girl Brandon was "just friends with" yeah... right. Thats a whole other story. Well, anyways. I don't like the dumb bitch. and she came to dinner. If that wasnt bad enough. Our movie started at 730. So, we had to leave the restaurant by about 720. Well, every minute past 720 sitting in the restaurant was torture. Seriously. Anyways, didnt get to leave the restaurant until 732! Didnt get to the theater until 739. I forgot to wear boots when I left and wore my soft bottom boots. So, my feet were soaking. Like, I should of just worn socks out. Didnt see the movie. Had to sit for an hour and a half with a dumb bitch. Who was whispering with her stupid friends the whole time.



Bad day . I hate everyone.

Too lazy too type how I feel. So, take the goddamn pictures and enjoy! :)

I'm gonna need a fucking tattoo artist to shave my eyebrows and tattoo some on. Everyday it gets worse. And today especially. In case you were left out of any part. I'm just going to fill everyone in. She blew me off on Saturday night. 4th time I think? she had blown me off. In a week! So, Sunday night I called her. I mentioned maybe doing it that night. She gave me another excuse. Then I said the Next night? [ Which would be Monday] She gave me this bullshit answer about how "Her back hurt sooo much. She wasn't getting out of bed." and how "George had texted her saying, he wanted her to get EVERYTHING out." she panicked. So, she blew me off again. I caught her lying about how " she hadn't seen or talked to Joey in almost a week" When me and my older sister Jaime had driven by his house earlier that day. To see her car. where? Sitting in front of his house. She lied. Go figure. Anyways. Got on Facebook today to see her status about how she had spent the day with her "love". Now considering the facebook that I'm friends with. Is the "George Relationship" one. She was talking about George. Another lie. So, I went off. I'm tired of her lies. Ending result was blocking all THREE of her facebooks. And deleting her from my life for good now. It sucks because, I was really hoping that the dinner go well, and we would be fine. Yard sale season is coming really soon. I've been excited for yard sales since about December. I love finding my cheap giraffe stuff at yard sales. That won't be happening this year. Up until I can drive. I was going to ask Jaime if she just wanted to do it. But shes unreliable with getting up and she already said Saturdays are her and Nick's days. So, I guess it'll have to wait until Next year when I'm driving. Still gonna suck doing it alone. Everyone's going to be doing Christmases and parties at Georges. Which I won't be attending.

On A Happier Note :)




Last night, Me, my best friend Nicole, Brandon and Jake and Hans went to Bill Bateman's Restaurant. It was all you can eat wings. I paid for Brandon, Me, and my friend Nicole. It was fun. Brandon ate 36 wings!! Oh, and awkward moment! The waiter was taking FOREVER to get my drink. And I was eating like really really dry wings and I was like "Where the hell is my drink mannn" as the waiter was reaching his arm past me with my drink! He was right behind me!!!!! I was like OHMYGOD! And the WHOLE table just burst into laughter! I felt sooo bad! But, when I was outside smoking a cig, I saw the girl that was doing our table before he did and I told her what happened and she bursted into laughter. She thought it was funny. Then we went back to Jakes new house and chilled on his pier for a little while. Then we all left. It was a good day..




So, I want to learn how to sew. I'm thinking my first project will be a white tank top with a bunch of giraffe patches I'm going to slowly buy and stack up from Ebay over time. Then stitch them all over the shirt. I'd love that!

Anyways.



LOL!