Suddenly I see!

I had a bad day. Yesterday, I mean. Everyone has bad days. I'm just going through today just breathing. Nothing is going to bother me. I won't let it. Brandon has been the best lately. Other than a little bit last night, because he forgot his money. He's been amazing. Even with me dealing with everything.

On a positive note. I made a new friend! I need friends. I have two friends. Nicole A. and My sister Nicole. Between them both. They know everything about me. I just feel retarded when something happens and both are busy or something. Anyways, back to what I was saying. I was friends with this kid Matt but he was an asshole when he moved into his dads. But he had already introduced my to a bunch of people on the island. [ some I already knew from the car meets] So, I made new friends anyways. Well, the other night he facebook chatted me and it was the night me and my mom got into a fight. And I told him about it. And apparently the same thing literally happened to him with his dad! So, now I update him on the whole "Mom" thing. Its nice to talk to someone thats been through that exact experience.


 So, I still keep an update on my moms facebook. She doesn't seem to really care about whats going. Why? Because in her eyes "she did nothing wrong". I was the one being the "negative influence on her living situation". I think the only reason I'm still so hurt from everything is because I went out of my way to worry about her and show her concern and she pretty much kicked me in the face [ that's what it felt like]. She chose. Except when she did, she made me think she chose me. For an hour to go by and realize No. She didn't. She was choosing him. In every way. I really wish I could just pay someone to go fuck his shit up ;)


Soon enough young one.


I keep having this dream. [ Ive had it twice in a row now..] Where everyone lives together. Like the people I live with but its a different house. And an earthquake hits and I grab Jarrod while hes sleeping, grab Nick and Jaime. And I'm telling them to get under the table. But then I turn to go get Brandon and Dad. [ Who in my dream are working on cars outside] and as I turn around I see Brandon running towards the door with dad. And I look up through the window to see what their looking at. And its like a tidal wave that's huge. I mean like could be knocking down planes out of the sky. So, I know I need to get them inside.. But were all going to die anyways. So, I get them upstairs in the room. And hiding in the table with us. And everyone's crying. But I can't do anything but watch the window. [ I wasn't under the table.] And as I gets closer. Binx and kitten come in the room and go to Jaime. And then BAM. As it comes crashing down. I wake up. As you can see, I really don't like that dream.

today... Its super duper nice outside!!!! Yayyyy!!!


Too bad I'm going to be sitting inside most of the day. Oh, wait. Just informed that it's suppose to rain this afternoon =[ well, that sucks. IM SO FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF ALWAYS SITTING IN THIS GODDAMN HOUSE. We NEVER do anything! He has all this money, but we can't ever go out for the night.